you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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