Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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