Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
