That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
