he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
