awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
