what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
