god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
