The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
