At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this just has baby written all over it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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