I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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