I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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