Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Small penises have feelings too.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
