So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
