i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
