Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
