how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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