Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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