You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
