dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
