Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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