paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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