Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
