My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
