ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
