So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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