hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
