my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
