i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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