jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
