I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
