did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
