I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just took my morning after pill in the library
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
