I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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