this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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