i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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