i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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