thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
