i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
