I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
