I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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