i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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