My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
