I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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