me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
