I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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