Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
In America we eat man semen.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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