woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
