it was like his penis was on wheels.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
