I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
