What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Found the puke drawer
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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